Celebrating the Marriage
Publicizing the Marriage
A Marriage contract marks the beginning of a new relationship between a man and a woman who had until recently been strangers. Subsequently, the married couple may be seen together in public and, if the Marriage was not publicized, some people might have ill thoughts about them. Because of this, it is important to make the Marriage public as possible, without going into extravagance and excessiveness.
Abudullah Bin az-Zubayr (radi Allahu anhu) reported that Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: "Announce the Marriage."
And as-Sa'ib Bin al-Aswad (radi Allahu anhu) reported that Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: "Publicize the Marriage and announce it."
Habbar Bin al-Aswad (radi'Allahu anhu) reported that he gave one of his daughters in marriage. Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) heard of sound (of the wedding celebrating) and inquired about it. He was told that Habbar married his daughter. So the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said approvingly:
"Publicize the marriage, publicize the marraige. This is a marriage, not fornication."
Publicizing a marriage is commonly done in the wedding, which includes various acts of celebration, such as singing and rejoicing among the women, and a wedding banquet called the walimah.
It is recommended to invoke blessings and prosperity for the married couple. Jabir (radi'Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said to him at his wedding:
"Barak Allahu lak - May Allah bless (your wife and marraige) for you."
Buraydah Bin al-Hasib (radi'Allahu anhu) reported that a group of al-Ansar told Ali (radi'Allahu anhu), "Why don't you consider Fatimah (for marriage)?" Acting upon their advice, he went to the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) who asked him, "What does the son of Abu Talib need?" He replied, "O Allah's Messenger! I came in regard to Fatimah the daughter of Allah's Messenger." The Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) replied, "Marhaban wa-ahlan - Welcome, and a family member." and he said no more.
Ali went back to that group of al-Ansar who were waiting for him. They asked him, "What do you bring?" He said, "I do not know, except that he said to me, "marhaban wa-ahlan." They said, "Just one of these two words would suffice you from Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wasallam; he offered you the 'family' and 'vastness'." Later on, after the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) married Fatimah to Ali, he told him:
"Indeed, a wedding (or a newlywed) must have a walimah."
So one man said, "I will bring a ram", and another man said, "I will bring some corn." Then, on the wedding night, the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) told Ali, "Do not do anything until you meet me." So the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) went over to Ali, asked for some water, performed wudu with it, poured it over Ali, and said:
"O Allah, bless them and bless their wedding for them."
A'ishah (radi'Allahu anha) reported that when it was her wedding night, her mother took her to the Prophet's (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) house, and she was welcomed by some women from al-Ansar who congratulated her, saying:
"(May your marraige) be good and blessed, and may you have the best future."
Abu Hurayrah (radi'Allahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) would say to a newlywed:
"Barak Allahu lak, wa-baraka 'alayk, wa-jama'a baynakuma fi khayr - May Allah bless for you (your spouse), make you blessed, and join you two in prospetiy."
'Aqil Bin Abi Talib (radi'Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) taught the sahabah (radi'Allahu anhum) to say this dua (for newlywed people):
"Barak Allahu lakum, wa-baraka 'alaykum - May Allah bless for you (your marriage) and make you blessed."
Singing and Beating the Duff
Prohibition of Music
As a general rule, music is prohibited in Islam. This rule is supported by authentic texts and by the consensus of the earlu 'ulama of Islam, incouding the Four Imams.
Abu Malik al-Ashari (radi'Allahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: "Among my Ummah will be those who will indulge in hir (adultery and fornication), silk, alcohol, and musical instruments. Some of those people will camp beside a mountain. A poor shepherd (tending their cattle) will come in the evening with their cattle, and will ask them for some (financial) help. They will say (to avoiding helping him), "Come back tomorrow." So Allah will destroy most of them during the night, bringing the mountain down over them, and will transform the rest to apes and pigs until the Day of Resurrection."
And Anas, Imran, and others (radi'Allahu anhum) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: "Some people of this Ummah will be punished by earth-collapse, stoning, and metamorphosis. This will happen when they drink khamr, keep female singers, and play on musical instruments."
Exclusion of the Duff
One instrument is excluded from the prohibition of musical insturments: the duff, which is similar to a tambourine, but without bells or rings. Its exclusion applies to three situations only:
1. 'Eid celebrations
3. In fulfilling a vow. This dervies from a uniqur incident during the Prophet's (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) time
Furthermore, all reports in the Sunnah about the duff indicate that only women and children beat it. Thus, today's practice during weddings where men sing, play music, and dance is discord with the Sunnah. A man should loathe to do such effeminate acts.
Avoid Sinning during the Wedding Celebration
Sinning and disobedience to Allah is frequently practiced by Muslims during wedding celebrations. Many of them presume that the wedding is an occasion for abandoning some of the Islamic principles.
We especially remind the newlywed and their families that the wedding marks the beginning of a new life for the couple. Therefore, all measures should be taken to embark on it in the best manner: acting in obedience to the Lord and hoping for His forgiveness and blessing. They should all strive to avoid sinful acts that may deprive them from Allah's blessing and make them liable to His server punishment.
Avoiding Un-Islamic Appearance
In dressing up for a wedding, Muslims should take into consideration the following guidelines:
They should avoid removing the hair that we are commanded to spare: they should avoid plucking their eyebrows, and men should avoid shaving or closely trimming their beard.
They should avoid copying styles of the non-Muslims and the corrupt - such as hairdos or clothing styles of actresses, singers, dancers, etc.
Women may only wear perfume if they will be in the company of other women or with their own mahrams. Wearing it in the presence of non-mahrams constitutes a great sin. Abu Musa al-Ashari (radi'Allahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: "Any woman who wears perfume and passes by men who would smell her perfume is an adultress."
Women should avoid makeup. In addition to being an imitation of the nonbelievers, this harms the skin and demonstrates an alteration to Allah's creation. The same rule is true about growing the nails and painting them with nail-polish.
It is permissible however, to use natural kuhl (antimony) as eye liner. This was practiced by the sahabah, and Ali (radi'Allahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: "Use antimony: it helps the (eyelash) grow, removes eye-impurities, and clears the eyesight."
It is also permissible to use henna (commonly, women apply it to the hands and feet). Henna is a reddish-orange cosmetic produced from the leaves and stalks of the henna plant. Salma, a female servant of the Propget (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) reported: "Never did a wound afflicted the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) or a thorn prick him but that he put henna on it."
Muslims should avoid tattooing and body-piercing. These are strongly prohibited in Islam. They are clearly the dictates of Satan, and have only been popularized by the corrupt people in recent years.
They should maintain a balance between elegance and moderation - never wearing clothing and adornment that reach the level of excessiveness or extravagance. They should keep in mind that the thousands that they may spend on a one-night's dress or pair of shoes may be desperately needed for saving lives of starving Muslims in other parts of the word.
They should avoid wearing clothing and adornment with the intention of boasting and showing off.
Their clothing should entirely cover the awrah and conceal its shape.
They should avoid wearing clothing that is specific to the opposite sex - such as women wearing masculine styles, or men wearing natural silk, gold jewelry, bracelets, necklaces, neck-chains, etc.
Avoiding Un-Islamic Practices
Muslims should keep their wedding aloof of many of the un-Islamic practices. In particular:
They should avoid mingling between and women and men who are not their mahrams, because it leads to various sinful acts, such as:
Touching, hugging, or shaking hands with each other
Chatting, laughing, or flirting with each other
Exchanging looks and stares with one another
Admitting the bridegroom, sometimes accompanied by other men, into the women's section of the wedding in order to meet his bride and kiss her in front of a large number of women, many of them improperly dressed.
They should avoid spending extravagantly or turning the wedding into an aerna for show off - thereby wasting money on things that are of no benefit for the Muslims, such as:
Holding the wedding in an expensive hotel or ballroom where labish foods are served and many violations to Islam are committed.
Distributing to the attendees expensive artifacts filled with sweets, or throwing silver or golden coins for the "lucky" people to catch.
The bride wearing a very expensive wedding gown that usually exposes much of her 'awrah.
They should avoid other sinful acts that are characteristic of un-Islamic wedding celebration, such as:
Having un-Islamically dressed waitresses provide the service.
Playing music, often combined with suggestive singing and lewd dancing.
Offering alcoholic bevarages. Ibn Umar (radi'Allahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam said:
"Whoever believes in Allah and the last day may not sit at a table on which khamr is circulated."
The newlywed couple wearing wedding rings to indicate their new "married" status - a practice that has absolutely no basis in Islam.
They should avoid undermining Islamic rites and rituals, such as:
Missing a prayer or refraining from praying it in jama'ah.
Holding the wedding until a late hour, causing attendees to miss the fajr prayer.
Avoiding taking pictures
A Muslim should not take a picture of help in taking it unless it fulfilles a need that cannot be fulfilled otherwise. 'Aishah (radi'Allahu anha) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) once saw in her house a curtain with pictures, so his face showed anger and he said:
"Indeed, those who make these pictures will be tortured on the Day of Resurrection and will be told, "Give life to what you have created."
So she removed the curtain, cut it, and made pillows with it.
Ibn Mas'ud reported that Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Indeed, the people who will receive the most severe punishment on the Day of Resurrection are those who make pictures."
Abu Talhah, Ali, and others (radi'Allahu anhum) reported that Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Indeed, the angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or picture."
(The Quest for Love & Mercy - Regulations for Marriage & Wedding in Islam - Muhammad Mustafa al-Jibaly)